MintStarMari

I'm taking a break from Yu-Gi-Oh! for a while. Don't get me wrong, it's still an amazing series but something in my psyche is not letting me enjoy it. Hard to explain.

You see, Atem's farewell moment which I was fine with originally is now causing me full on sadness and clinical depression for reasons I can't fathom (Even DSOD does) and it's so depressing it has tainted my perception to the series and things related to it in a similar vein to PTSD when it shouldn't have (Happened before with Mega Man Zero and even Sonic which I eventually got over and enjoy again). Don't know if it's just an unrelated depression episode but I'll distance myself from the series a bit until my mood recovers and I can properly enjoy it again (I know it was not Takahashi's intention to make me sad, I'll overcome it eventually). In fact, this current depression episode is preventing me from enjoying other stories with similar drama and even changes and an ending with is flat out absurd yet there is the sudden post series depression. Point is, it's a series I should enjoy but a pointless depresive episode is preventing it and doing the same thing to other things to a extent.

Is it normal to sometimes be able to digest dramatic moments and character deaths/farewells and then the very same moments causing you actual depression or contributing to it even if you already knew/saw that moment? It's full moon and I recently had a crummy incident regarding lost/unsaved data so….. Maybe I just remembered that moment in unfortunate timing.

I promise Takahashi, I'll enjoy your amazing work again once I mentally recover. And draw more of it too.

One of my new years resolutions is coming true this 4th of May. I'm finally opening a stand at a convention to sell prints and stickers with my art.

Granted, this is going to be more difficult than I thought. I recently fell into another episode of depression/anhedonia which is making it more difficult to draw new art and enjoy stuff I normally like (Don't worry, I'm already getting help to get out of that emotional slump as soon as I can). Also, I recently had an incident where I lost hours of work thanks to Windows Update which left me angry and frustrated.

It's going to be a relatively small convention and since most of you are far away from my home city, you won't see me in person. But hopefully enough, I can share some pictures and earn some extra money from my work.

Mint here.... I know I’m kinda late to this but I wanted to talk about something.

Regarding the Cookie Run 6th anniversary incident where unneeded changes to the game led to the angry fan base to revolt. It’s the first time a controversy regarding the game actually hurt me. I let the whitewashing incidents a pass, I knew nothing about them trying to make NFTs and I even kept calm through the invocation card fiasco but this recent incident actually affected my perception of the game, not because of the changes they made but because of how the fanbase reacted. The anger, contempt and violence of these fans actually terrified me. As for me, I was dismayed with the changes done like the laboratory overhaul that made several ingridients imposssibe to buy (not to mention the lack of sense the ingredients make) and the cool down times for some of these. Then the raid run looked so fun at first but I noticed it was unbalanced and frustrating, requiring urgent balance changes to properly work (and the raid chests are pretty cumbersome to open). I was disappointed but that’s it. No need to throw a fit. I wanted to report this to the devs and then I ran into much worse things: The fandom rioting with torches and pitchforks like never before and actually harassing one of the staff (community manager Rose) until she had a mental breakdown on a stream. This eventually resulted in her leaving the team altogether later on. Even the cheery Mic Mac looked so upset and uncomfortable the next time we saw him, having endured harassment as well. They all used to be positive and energetic in each update despite the adversities but this was just too much for them.

As for me, whenever they changed the game in a way I didn't like, I just told the staff as calmly and politely as possible and then did my best to get used to it. There are some changes I'm glad they did such as the removal of magic candy failure rates and the trophy shields. I could have gotten over the 6th anniversary update just fine had the fandom not gone berserk.

My opinion: Devsisters higher ups should be held responsible for the disaster given that they wanted more money and tried to make the game even more PtW than before. The staff on the other hand wanted to create something wholesome. In any piece of media whether is a video game, a show or a movie, you should separate the creators from the companies that own them. We learned in 2022 that the big companies got greedy and don’t care for the creators that much. However, the angry fan base that posted these rude comments and harassed the devs should also be held equally as responsible as they are the ones who caused Rose to leave (Effectively leaving a scar in the game’s community). I do not wish death, harm or bad luck to Devsisters’s executives or the bratty fans but if they had to get punished, I’d say they should be fed ramen-flavored Oreos for every bad action they did. Apparently things are slowly getting back to normal just fine once again but it will take much longer to fully forget this.

I came back to the game after some time and I still want to draw the cookies but I don't know if it's safe for me to return to the fandom, I could move to Kingdom but my phone is too outdated to run it. What should I do guys, do you want to see more Cookie Run art from me?

If you saw one of my previous journals, you know I had a crisis regarding my own religion and I just finally came to a conclusion about my own beliefs.

I believe in my lord an savior but in a very different way the church tells everyone to. I am more spiritual than religious and I have taken elements of other religions for my own philosophy based off what each master actually taught.

I might be criticized for this but: I do not believe in everything the church says and does. Jesus never said that it was wrong to be transgender or love someone of your own gender. What God stated is that is the union of a man and a woman what can bring new lives to earth and that's it. It isn't everyone's obligation to bear a child. You can live without children yourself or adopt a homeless one. You have a place in heaven regardless of your religion and your orientation as long as you are a good person, helping others and being nice. If hell exists, then it's more than likely only for those who actually commited wide tragedies and mass murder with no regret.

Jesus never wanted the church to burn countless innocent women and accussing them of witchcraft. And for muslims, Allah never wanted his followers to kill themselves to kill more people. They would be deeply horrified to see what their own followers did in their name. What I'm saying is that religious fanaticism is HARMFUL.

Many religious people have misinterpreted the word of God several times. They are the ones who say that everything is a sin: Skipping church, not being straight and cis, divorcing, marrying outside of the church, using anticonceptives, questioning them, and many other ridiculous things that Jesus himself never stated in his stay on earth. The bible has been rewritten several times and many phrases contradict each other among each version. To tell what words are true has become truly difficult. And can you believe this: 666 is not even any number of the beast, this is a myth just like the 2012 mayan calendar!

To explain things further, does anyone remember the old Disney fim "The Hunchback of Notre Dame"? Remember how dark and cruel of a villain Frollo was? He was a religious judge who saw sin in everything and hurt so many innocents, believing God would have wanted it. And look how he actually ended up. Does this character's action remember you to anything? Yes: The infamous Westboro Baptist Church which spreads hateful messages and outright want everyone who isn't part of their religion to suffer God's wrath which is horrible.

In conclusion: Yes, I believe in God but no, I don't believe in the church's fundamentalist claims. Witchcraft, LGBT and having other beliefs wont stop you from reaching heaven.

Mari here.

Has anyone noticed how Covid 19 has suddenly plummeted and grown weaker as time passed by? Nobody talks about it anymore. Chances are this entire pandemic will end this year yet no one is happy or celebrating the potential victory over the virus.

Nope. Everyone is just searching bad news to feed their iner demons such as depression, anxiety, fear and hopelesness. In this case, everyone on the internet is focusing on Russia's invasion to Ukraine and treating it like it was the actual WWIII.

Ok, I am deeply worried about the innocent Ukranians caught in this conflict and I am doing what I can to contribute to the end of this invasion (even if it's just signing a petition) but people just have to stop with these WWIII/nuke/return of the Soviet Union theories. They're not helping anybody, they're worsening their concerns by exaggerating the truth. This can even lead to emotional breakdowns and potentially suicides.

I have talked about this with my mother and she told me several times to not seek any news because many of those that pop up are exaggerated or fake news about this conflict. She is doing what she can to keep me informed about this. She told me that most nations in the world disagree with Russia's actions but are not going to interfere with weapons and bombs for the safety of their civilians. So the worst case scenario has technically been debunked as of now.

If you run into comments and articles saying stuff like "war is inevitable" or "the lord is coming" or "your city will be nuked" or "we're all doomed", do yourself a favor and either ignore or report them. Chances are those are scaremongers or people that were affected by what I like to call, the negativity virus:

It's the real pandemic here from my point of view. The sympthoms are:

*Hopelesness

*Depression

*Anxiety

*Nihilism

*Cynicism

*Poor mental health

*Worst case scenario thinking

*Giving up on everything

*Spreading negative words to others

*Poor immune system

*Excessive sadness and fear

*Feeling unsafe anywhere, even at yout comfort zone

*Loss of hope

*Unability to feel joy and hapiness

*And a fate worse than death: Living on total misery

How does it spread? Easy answer: Social media. Twitter is considered harmful due to the many fake news and negative trends you can run into. The same applies to most of the news you see on Google. It also spreads from user to user. At some point, you must have run into comments saying that the end is near, that we're doomed to die or suffer or that all hope is lost. Said users wont accept any uplifting words like that there's still hope, we haven't lost yet and that a bright future is still possible because they have been fooled into thinking that all positive actions and hope are futile. They are unconsciously trying to make you feel and think like them until you lose your hope too and I personally have been a victim of this, several times. They are either apathetic or internally suffering. Some even think that heaven is a lie and that we're either all doomed to hell or ceasing to exist entirely forever.

How can this be treated?:

*Talk to a psychiatrist

*Take a break from social media

*Do what you love to do until you regain enjoyment

*Go out for a walk

*Take medicines if necessary

*Don't listen to negative articles or comments

*Look through your window and realize that the world is not burning at all

*Mute all the negative words you dont want to see on social media

*Spend time with loved ones

And remember. Do not let anyone take away your hope and faith. This is the very last thing that can be ever lost.

It's important to stay positive because so much negative thinking is harmful to the world. Spread hopeful words and news and avoid the negative ones. It's okay to be sad and afraid from time to time but that doesn't mean it has to take over your life. Things always end but just like that, new ones will always begin too because the only thing that is eternal is the base of existence. If we all stood up with a smile and helped each other, this world would be so much better. This entire conflict between Ukraine and Russia might end soon due to everyone's hopes and desires for world peace and with that, Covid has grown very weak. There is still a chance for things to calm down. As for now, we must continue with our lives with a smile.

Mari out.